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Question by MG: My bf hurt me severely and I dont know what to do!?!?
This was someone I really trusted and had no reason not to trust. I had no problem with an open casual relationship, but he persisted for a closed bf/gf relationship.
Story:
Around last Dec he moved 8 hrs away from his gf breaking off his 7 yr relationship out of guilt, because he wouldnt really look for a job and he drank more than her.
I met him at our place of employment in late Feb, but didnt really start talking to him until around Apr, late in the month we started dating. It was very hard for me to be in a serious relationship for the first time at 25, I had a lot of hard times adjusting, plus early in May I lost my job, and he invited me to live with him. He always took care of everything financially, domestically, and did/ gave everything I wanted- including emotionally. Despite my hard times he stuck with me, offering to take me on vacation, bought me gifts, introduced me to his friends/ family, and took me anywhere- bought me anything. I decided to move out shortly after I moved in, but we stayed together like we were bf/gf but I kept it known that we werent in a committed relationship. He finally got fed up with that about 2 wks ago and during a conversation about our birthdays coming up, I was mentioning some pricey items, and he said he knows- he pays attention to what I look at and like… I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he said that he wanted me to be his gf again. I hesitated but days later I said okay. So things were going great….
The mess:
This previous Fri, I was at his house and for some reason, sth I’d never do- I looked through his phone and he had two recent msgs that day and 2 days previous going out to his ex-gf saying ‘love you’. The thing is the week before that he took me out to dinner, and he had mentioned his x. He saw emotion on my face and said “dont worry i dont want her. you think i want her? i dont”. i said “okay”. he mentioned in the beginning of our relationship that when he first left and moved out of his x’s he would text and think of her all the time, but when he met me that all stopped. He’d occasionally mention casual stories about trips they made and once he mentioned they were going to get married and briefly described the wedding. I never thought anything about this, bc I figured that they were together for 7 years, so you dont just cut off ppl like that and he seemed seriously over her. Also under her name in his phone it has her first name and a “pet” name after her first name. He says the only time they talk is about platonic stuff… like mail that he still gets over there occasionally. When I broke up w him the first time in June, he said he was so shocked that he called her. He calls ppl when he’s upset. He said she got upset hearing everything bc he did more for me than he did for her in the first 5 years they were together and started sending him pics of other guys she had been with when they were together and that it hurt him (why would he care? if he liked me?).
Anyways he’s always texting me, spending time with me, saying he’ll do anything for me and I am all he thinks about… so you can imagine the shock I went through when I saw those text to her and the pet name after her first name. He just has my name in his phone, nothing sweet after it. So that Friday I walked out of his life feeling used, lied to, and hurt. I didnt want to make a scene. He tried to contact me a couple of time on Fri. On Saturday I told him that I walked out on him bc I found those text msgs and that I’d rather be with someone else. He got mad about the someone else and swore he didnt give a F*** about his x, and that all he cares about was me. That my name was on his life insurance policy, and that those text msgs are old. But I didnt buy it. Those text msgs are no lie. And though his phone delays texts, it’s only by hours… not days, let alone 5+ months, which is how long he has been claiming that he no longer has feelings for his gf like that. And if he really liked me wouldnt he be really over his ex to the point that she has just faded to his past to no contact. but i think that maybe at times even if he felt happy to be with me, there were those times that his loving feelings for her resurfaced for her, bc he does really truly love her.
He texted me after the Saturday talk. And tried to call me once. He tried a couple of texts on Sunday and tried to call once. Usually when I leave he’ll bombard me with texts and calls. But maybe he knows he is wrong this time. He said things like he loves/ misses me… he’s tried to love me with everything… he never meant to hurt me… I think that seals the fact that he did mean those texts to his x, bc he hasnt mentioned it. I feel if he actually had a justification (which I could never dream of a possibility), he would of made sure I heard it by now. He didnt try to contact me yesterday, so that’s another thing. He used to text
What’s going on?

Why did he do this?

Comments/ Analysis?

Help me to understand so that my mind, confusion and anxiety can be set free

Best answer:

Answer by cfjsdfj fdjsaklf
tl;dr

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