Question by J S: Birthday question Part 2 ?????? 10 points best answer?
OK, well I got great response to my first question http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…
This is what I had planned, we all meet at the resturaunt: me , her and her friends. I give her the flowers when we first meet up. We eat dinner, afterwards, we give her the cake, then the presents. The gifts from me are a pair of pearl earring and a matching bracelet (boxed in one box), a cd, a very nice card (which someone told me is so nice that it may make her cry. The DVD I’m making, which is a slide show of pics with her girlfriends set to music, will be presented as from all of us. Some of you said that this is fine and very sweet, others said she is not my GF and already has a BF and i’m going way overboard. Others were in between.
Well this is her day and i want to make it about her. I DON’T want her to get these gifts and think WOW, that is so nice of HIM, HE is so sweet or HE went way overboard. I want her to think WOW, I’M special, I’M worthy, someone (anyone) thinks this much of ME!
as far as I’m concerned if me, her BF, and her GF all go overboard, we still come up short, when you concider how special she is.
As far as ME. Well, I realize that about a week afterwards, I need to go to her and say goodbye. Recently I can’t reach her anywhere except work. She hasn’t been returning my calls, texts or emails. at best I feel like a pest at worst a stalker. I will be telling her that it’s hard for me to say goodbye, because I love and care about her a lot. I’m not just someone else walking out of her life, I will never be further away that a phone call. But I feel that this is what she wants of me.
So my gifts aren’t about me trying to make her feel appreciation towards me, it’s to make her feel apprieciation to herself.
additiona facts:
A) she just got a divorce, fianlized in Feb They were seperated prior.
B) her husband cheated on her and said “I just don’t love you”
C) She has a BF that she was dating for 6-8 months. (she was dating him during her seperation from ex before the divorce was finalized.
D) They nearly broke up a month ago, because he just started moving in with her.
E) She says she misses being married.
F) two weeks ago she talked about buying a house by herself.
G) last week she siad she was buying it with her BF.
H) An old love, who she never got on with because of his drug problem, Killed himself around feb… The time of her divorce.
I) she is 29, has no kids, wants some one day.
So is the birthday plan Alright or should I modify it. My main concern is not to make it awkward for her. My main goal is to build on her self esteem!
Best answer:
Answer by Barney2009
I do not believe that your reason for doing all of this for her birthday is just to make her feel special, and that is all you want. If that were the case, you are going way overboard. I believe you want to WIN her over.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
ok are you in love with this girl?? i think that it is very very sweet of you to do that ….but if you dont like her or want to be in a relationship with her you may make her think you do. you dont want to crush the girls hopes even more than her pice of $h!t ex did. its ok to make her feel special just do what you think is right and what u think is best for her
Comment by She~She — September 4, 2010 @ 8:20 pm
You need to work on yourself and stop being a pansy that no girl will ever respect. Why are you so concerned about this girl and why do you have to say goodbye???
Who are you to her?
You are way too into this girl and are frightening her. What is wrong with you? This is no way to get a girl to like you or feel appreciation toward herself. She can only make herself feel good-it doesn’t come from material sources.
I think you may need some therapy. Stop making lists about her and make some self-improvement ones for yourself.
Let me help you:
1) In order to have a girl like you, you must show confidence in yourself.
2) Stop being weak and girly. You are a man.
3) Women don’t like pushovers especially if they are guys who make lists about girls.
4) Have pride, puff out your chest and be manly.
You fill in the rest. Please stop. Women do this kind of stuff, not real men…especially not men who are not wanted.
Believe me if a woman likes you, you will know. Then, and only then you may do nice things for her. Otherwise you are wasting YOUR time and making her run, run, run as fast as she can away from you.
Comment by Christine — September 4, 2010 @ 8:33 pm