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Will my husband’s affair last even though he continues to lie and cheat?

Question by Gina Martin: Will my husband’s affair last even though he continues to lie and cheat?
Hi. I am a 34 year old woman who was recently faced with the ultimate betrayal, my husband was having an affair. He was recently denied the spousal visa ( for admitting to doing cocaine two months before the immigration interview )and had to return back to mexico for the next 3 years. Once we found out the horrible news, I became weary of how our lives were going to change. He then went to Mexico and promised that he would work on achieving his projects and that I would work on mine. During this time, my dad was in the hospital in urgent care. I was only concerned with his well being but I also made time and TRIED to comunicate with my husband in Mexico, but to no avail. I contacted his family and even wrote him e-mails and he never answered. Until one day, I spoke to his mother and she told me that he was indeed seeing someone else. She told me that he had told his family that we were over. That we had ended our relationship. She was shocked to know that he was my husband. (He didn’t want to tell his parents that we had gotten married because I had put on some weight and he said that his parents wouldn’t approve of me.) My father passed away twenty days later and I was devasted and so hurt, by his passing and also because my husband didn’t even know and probably didn’t even care. I had barely gotten through this when to my surprise I had recieved two emails from my husband, only to open them up and see that these were forwarded e-mails that he had sent to her last year and now were meant for me to read. He said that he LOVED her and that he wanted to be with HER. He DIDN’T send them, she did! She found out and reached out to me!!! She wanted to find out the truth! Then she called me and said that she wanted to ask me so many questions. She said she was angry with my husband for giving me FALSE HOPE and that I should know what was going on as he promised her that our marriage was over. HE NEVER COMMUNICATED WITH ME! The NERVE of HER! To send this to me at work – is she serious!!!??She told me that my husband told her that he WAS NOT intimate with me last year. Well, he was!!! My husband then lied and lied about so many other things and then he said that HATED me since last year and USED me for all he could. He said he ONLY wanted me for the VISA and so many more lies. After everything I did for him. I did EVERYTHING for us!!! I PAID for EVERYTHING and took care of all his NEEDS – PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL!!! I just want to know…is this AFFAIR going to last? He asked me for the DIVORCE! They are putting pictures of themselves on FACEBOOK and they seem so happy. What about KARMA? Is he in love with her? Please help me!!! God bless you all!

P.S – He NEVER apologized and all he said was he just wants to be happy with her.

Best answer:

Answer by Douggie B
You got used big time! Sorry dear!

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Why would my husband turn down the woman he had an affair with? When he’s recently been stalking her?

Question by Lila: Why would my husband turn down the woman he had an affair with? When he’s recently been stalking her?
* I asked this last night but removed it, as a few women called the OW names, which TBH is neither here nor there to me, but does not really help my situation.

This is a complex situation.

I DO NOT BELIEVE MY HUSBAND IS A CHEATER BY NATURE, NOR OPPORTUNISTIC. He’s not a Tiger Woods type, out on the prowl, hunting women.

THAT SAID he had a 11-month affair in 2008 and 2009. He did not confess either, I found out by emails and texts between the pair. I also know he BEGGED her not to confirm it to me, and left her a “DON’T TELL MY WIFE, TELL HER WE WERE JUST JOKING” voicemail, which the woman played to me.

I stayed with him and he cut her off. I then found out that he was still trying to see her. She called me over the summer and told me. I confronted him and he said SHE was chasing HIM.

She then sent me an email which I could not deny (about him chasing her) and I turned to medication.

She also had a court injunction placed on him for harassment because I tried (and failed) to get one on her.

I recently found out he’d been waiting for her just before the December holidays, to ask why she got the law involved, and she was like “umm – your WIFE started it!”

4 weeks later he waited for her AGAIN and this time ran upto her and told her he was disillusioned with me and our marriage, and to “keep me in mind”. They talked for 30 mins.

She thought this was a green light and they met a few days later but he told her he was not leaving me, and she “must have misheard” him. He said he was not angry anymore (about the injunction) but asked her to move on without him.

She then sent him a note to say “why would you say I misheard you when you know damn well what you said to me? Call me if you change your mind. I’m leaving my job so you won’t see me around again!”

He has not responded to this as far as I know, and I think I’m right in this.

Why would he not reply to her? Is he biding his time? But if she’s moving next week, why is he not hounding her before he never sees her again?

In the past he HAS recontacted her even after telling her to move on, but has the injunction finally put him off her? He can’t have loved her that much for that to have killed his feelings?

Why would he stalk her only to tell her the next week he was not interested? (when he was the week before) I am just trying to ascertain where my marriage is headed, as I won’t leave.

Best answer:

Answer by cateyes
Didn’t I just answer this a couple of hours ago?

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